riding in cars with boys

Forever is composed of nows.
— Emily Dickson

In our society, time is money. Yet, sometimes a few minutes of perfection are worth large sums in the red. Ten hours of travel, for fifteen minutes in his passenger seat. I would do it once a week if I could.

This post is not about being in love. It's about something that I love. A subtle, but distinct difference. 

I love riding in cars with boys. I have this thing for sitting in their passenger seat. Not every boy - I have a list of my favorites - only the ones who are in their element. The ones who don't mind using the few minutes of closeness to have a real conversation. The ones who will pick music and sing without hesitation. The ones who will play drums on the steering wheel and not think twice. 

I have only a handful of these moments to cherish. Drives to the airport, to lunch, and across town. The most recent happened on a trip to see my best friend. When I set out for the destination, I knew time would be precious. There would be far more hours of travel than actual time spent together. (In fact, it turned out to be just four.) The milestone is why I thought those few hours would be worth it. But I was wrong. 

The game of hurry up and wait combined with the chaos of his arrival meant details for the afternoon were sketchy. This element of the unknown is what allowed for perfection to happen. It meant my overly active imagination didn't have time to daydream how certain events could, should, or would unfold. We were standing in the hangar discussing lunch, and then suddenly were sitting in his car. I didn't realize it until I was back home in DC, but that car ride to have turkey sandwiches made my entire trip. It was the reason why I spent ten hours on I-395. 

My travels were exactly one week ago, and the details of the trip are already beginning to blend with others. Except for our car ride. Those moments of hot sunshine in his passenger seat are perfectly preserved. Catalogued next to the others, and replayed when I need a reason to smile. Somewhere between hearing his laughter and singing Taylor Swift, I found myself in heaven. 

Had I known it then, everything would have been ruined. I would have panicked and tried to calculate how many seconds I had left. I would have put pressure to make the time spent together perfect. I would have sat there wishing this moment could last forever. Instead, I lived in it. My mind was present, and I was content to be right there. No where else. Because I was simply riding in a car with a boy.